Monday, July 18, 2011

Grandchild Fever Is a Threat to Marriage

"The Marriage Vow" has been in the news a lot lately, partly because presidential candidates Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum signed it and partly because of its incorrect and outrageous suggestion that African American children were better off during slavery than today.

The vow, produced by a conservative advocacy group, also has been in the news for some of its claims about homosexuality and the threat it supposedly presents to American society.

The statement concerning slavery apparently has been removed.  An author of the source cited by the vow says her research was misused.  The document's clearly homophobic statements remain. 

One threat to the "Institution of Marriage" not mentioned is this: mothers with adult daughters.

We have heard of the five stages of grief.  I think we could say there are Four Stages of the Hunger for Grandchildren.

1. The mother wants her grown daughter to marry a nice man with a good job and then have children.

2. The mother encourages her daughter to have a child with her boyfriend.  You don't need to be married before you start a family.  Things are different today from when I was your age.  He's a nice boy.  You can live together, have the baby, and maybe then you'll get married.

3. The mother encourages her daughter to have a child with her boyfriend, even if the daughter is not sure how serious she is about him.  You can live at home.  If things work out between you two, then you can get married.  In the meantime, you and the baby can live here with us.

Murphy Brown, CBS, 1988-1998
4. The mother encourages her daughter to have a child.  Period.  You have a good job.  Who needs a husband?  Murphy Brown didn't.  Just give me a grandchild!  I'm not getting any younger, you know!


  1. The pressure of Number 1 is enough - imagine the others!!! Holy Mary!


  2. Mike (A proud Grandfather)July 21, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    I don't see this article as representative of all young marriageable women of child bearing age. Nor of their mothers! Of course there is pressure from Mom. Also, peer pressure, friend pressure, pressure from advertising etc. Also, the fear that time is passing them by, getting too old, etc. All of this plus the biological urges and the bodily changes. Women of all ages should be independent of all unwanted pressure. Women from age 16 to 46, (not many in the latter), must think of this as life goes on. The idea that one must get married is as ridiculous as the idea that one must have a child. Life is not about all the traditional patterns anymore. Of course, most women may want to get married and perhaps have children, but not all, and many may choose other paths. Lets let each person make their own decisions without TOO much pressure. (Fathers included.)

  3. My parents both have the Hunger for Grandchildren! It's ridiculous.